Being a parent is a loss of control

I am going to start this with saying something obvious...being a parent is HARD.  It is so hard.  You have this little human that you love with all your heart that it hurts, but these sweet faces also know how to press your buttons.  They will hug you one minute and scream at you the next.  They don't want to listen.  This is mostly due to the fact that they are trying to find their own independence and learning boundaries and the thought of being told no gets them upset.  Time management is hard.  Organization is damn near impossible.  A clean house? Well maybe it can stay clean for an hour if you are lucky.  It is exhausting.  Who would have thought that in my 30's I would be having screaming matches with a 2 yr old, having to bribe and barter with a toddler.  It is anxiety provoking.  I freak out inside everytime she goes up and down the stairs for fear that she will fall yet have to put on a calm presence and praise her when she accomplishes the task.  It can be overwhelming.  I really have no control.

You are the parent, you make the rules and your kids have to abide by them.  Yea, that is probably the common idea amongst non parents, but good luck putting that into action.  Yea I set the rules.  Yea I try to enforce them.  My kid tries to break them and in the end I usually cave just a bit. When they are little they do not yet know the rules, are learning them and do not always like them.  There is no rationale developed and they are emotional latchkeys.  

I have no control over my time.  It is hard to schedule anything because Bree may need to take a nap at that or maybe she should be taking a nap but decided she is just going to fight us the whole time.  Bree is hungry when she is hungry and not when I tell her she should be.  Bree has to be changed when she goes to the bathroom and it is not always at the most convenient times.  You are not in control just because you are the adult.  

As the kids get older then you start giving them more independence and they are better able to understand what the rules are.  They are also old enough to break them on purpose and know better.  They are better able to lie and be deceitful.  You are still not in control.

Your house becomes a wreck.  Their rooms will look the way the want it to look.  They will leave their clothes everywhere. They will play the music you hate and decorate it in a way you would never choose.  Where is your control? When they are young your house is a mess of toys.  We try to get Bree to clean up at the end of the night, but at 2 she cannot do it by herself and her attention span is subpar so it is usually us parents having to pick everything up.  Sometimes it is only us because Bree wants to kick and scream.  Where is our control? Bree is in control. 

Don't get me wrong.  I wouldn't trade being a parent for the world  All the headaches and chaos is worth every single smile they make.  It is worth it with every hug, every kiss, every I love you.  Every cuddle session brings as much as joy winning the lottery.  That intense love that you feel for this little person is worth every headache, every tear, every time you feel like giving up, every hair you pull out of your head, every anxiety pill you need to inhale, every sore throat from a screaming match, and every sleepless night.  Being a mom is my favorite job in the world and nothing could make me want to give it up. 

Now let me show you what my house looks like in a typical day.  This was the inspiration behind this post.  

Good luck to all you parents out there.